More Growing Pains

 Perhaps it is a function of the busyness of life that I've not written on this blog for over 4 months! Oh well, I find myself up early this morning (not a morning person, but I'm 65, so ... whatever.) And I've been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of days.

Last fall, I spoke at the annual conference of the local Alzheimer Society on honouring emotions in dementia with grace. That presentation went over very well, even if I had to rush through it a bit to stay on schedule. (Lesson learned.) Anyway, when the (national) Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association reached out for ideas on session topics/content last December, I followed the urging of my therapist and sent in a summary of my presentation.

I didn't hear from them for days, weeks, and months. I assumed that they were not interested. I was even considering not going, and even moreso when they sent out a general email saying that it was "sold out"!

Then, 2 days ago, I got an email from them saying that they were looking forward to hearing me speak! (News to me!) and that they were holding my spot for me in this already-sold-out event so that I could register using a special code. (Because of course, even speakers have to pay their own way to a non-profit event ... LOL). 

I was absolutely FLOORED.  And delighted. And scared. And excited. And grateful. And . . . so many emotions! 

Being an Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy student (I'm in the program to become certified), I'm a little surprised that I would feel all these things because I spend so much time telling people that emotions are not good or bad, but information about how safe and secure we are ... and then I stopped my thoughts with this one: why WOULDN'T I feel all those things? It's kind of a big deal for this little bumpkin from down east New Brunswick... which I discovered in that moment is sometimes still how I see myself.

(Duh, Judy.) So this post is me being and feeling all those things, all at the same time. The only problem is that it affects how quickly I get to sleep at night and how early (or late) I awake in the morning. Hahaha, that's also normal, by the way. 

Image by Konrad Janik from Pixabay

I've been doing my best the last few months to practice sufficient self-care. I've been doing physical things to promote relaxation and reduce anxiety and some of those annoying symptoms of depression, making sure I'm healthy according to my doctor, and ridding myself of toxic chemicals and toxic situations that cause frustration and anger. (The nightly news is not helping...). Sometimes I don't fully succeed - for example, I need to keep current on the news, and finding the balance of bad versus good news can be challenging - but more times, I do. I see a therapist on a regular basis to keep me accountable to find that balance between self-care and others-care, not just as a therapist but also in my other roles: wife, mother, friend, family member, consumer (shopper), and so on.  

My practice is slowly growing, although I can't say that it's quite thriving yet (that may come...) 

I am loving my location (and so are my plants!) with two windows that overlook the barely used parking lot behind our building (don't worry, there are shades.) There are only other counsellors in my building. I'm a member of their water club - which gives me access to drinkable water whenever I choose - and I think that I have earned a place of belonging in the building's community.

Someone even spilled coffee on my office rug last week. They helped clean it up, and all is well, but I remember remarking to myself internally that I've done some growing on the inside because that accident barely flickered my "freak-out" needle and I was as calm as a cucumber (are cucumbers calm? or is it cool?) Hmm. I didn't even consider it worth mentioning to my therapist when I saw her on the weekend. Hmm. Interesting.

As April settles in, I'm more and more looking forward to the first signs of spring in Atlantic Canada. We don't even have crocus up yet at our house, at least none that I've seen. I joke that the letter R has to be out of the name of the month before Spring arrives in PEI. The winters seem so very long and harsh/wet/windy/icy/snowy/yuck. (Can you tell it's not my favourite season? haha)

But even this month, signs of life are showing. The trees already have buds. The crows are repairing their nests from last year; the young ones from last year are building new ones. And for the moment, there is less snow on the ground than there is last year's grass - with some new growth coming underneath it. So, I have hope.

And in my profession, this month is Counselling and Psychotherapy month and I am giving my PowerPoint presentation to other counsellors on PEI next Monday night - call it a dry run for my presentation at the end of May at the national conference!  Then, I'm helping to represent the PEI Counselling Association (PEICA) at a wellness/caregivers' conference on the 21st of this month. And I'm taking another course in my Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy certification process during the last week of April. So ... I'm busy.

And, now it is time to think about waking the family. Or not. Perhaps I'll watch a movie I recorded yesterday: First Contact. (A propos since today is - for Trekkies like me - First Contact Day.)

Do take care of yourself. You're the only you that you have!

~-~