JG Gillis Counselling

  About three years ago, a lady walked into my office and she was suffering from one of the worst cases of anxiety and depression I had seen. She was almost always in tears. I won't give her real name or her age, but let's call her Sarah.  Sarah grew up in a relatively (at least on the surface) normal family, but she felt like she was invisible growing up. She felt like she had to pour oil on troubled waters so everyone would get along. She felt like she had to be perfect and she panicked when she couldn't be. She was extremely despondent and had even considered suicide a couple of times in her life. As she sat with me telling me her present story - an infidelity in her relationship with her (now) husband - she cried. And she cried.  I started talking about looking after herself. What did she do to have fun? What activities made her feel good?  She couldn't think of any that she was practicing at the time - and said she "should" do it but couldn't stick wi...

Grief is a topic not many people want to talk about, but it is a fact of life that we need to address. Grief comes about by means of a loss - whether a loss of a person in our lives, a cherished dream, a job, a relationship, or a part of ourselves. It can even be a loss of something we never had.  Many of us have heard of the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and we mistakenly think that these are stages that proceed in an orderly fashion, like items on a "to-do" list. However, it doesn't work that way. These are common components that can occur in our grief, but can be experienced more like a whack-a-mole game, popping up seemingly at random, and sometimes we can experience two or more of those states at the same time.  The common belief is that we "get over" grief. We don't. But it changes. Free image from Pixabay.com I like to compare it to being out in the ocean during a storm. The waves are so high, so frequent, tha...

With most if not all of my clients, I recommend a simple (but sometimes hard) exercise: self-care. Many people don't understand why. Some misunderstand what I mean by self-care. I thought I'd take some time this morning and briefly talk about what self-care is and why it is so important to everyone, but especially to everyone who is dealing with mental health issues. Self-care isn't all massages, manicures, and bubble baths. If those things make you feel great about yourself, by all means, do them, but I'm talking about small things that you can do in your daily routine, as simple as brushing teeth (or other hygienic things, which for people with depression, may seem hard) right up to taking a walk or having an outing with or without a human or animal friend.  Free photos available at Pixabay.com The purpose of this kind of activity is simple. It is to feed the part of you that rarely gets any thanks or gratitude from anyone, the part of you that feels alone, misunderst...

  I just got back from a walk with hubby and the dogs. It's been so muggy the last two or three weeks that walking seemed more of a chore than anything; I would sweat profusely at the end of even 20 minutes. But tonight, the humidity went down a bit, as did the temperature, and now only my face and neck are moist. I'll take it! I'd been feeling a bit down and discouraged about a few things as we came to the end of June 2023. It was a rainy month, and the temperatures seemed cold; the grass was wet EVERY day.  Free photo by Susanne06 at Pixabay.com Near the end of June or the beginning of July, I had a health scare and started taking seriously the food choices I was making, and the activity level I was settling for. To combat getting my shoes wet, I got some rubber boots (pink, why not?) and started taking the puppy out on a regular schedule, which started around 8:30 am. Within 3 weeks, she was going "outside" to do her business (on leash of course) more than hal...