JG Gillis Counselling

Transitions - even nice ones - are hard. Just ask any mother who has ever given birth... the term "transition" is considered a stage of labour during which the cervix has dilated and the mother switches from breathing to get through the pain to pushing along WITH the pain. And yes, it's painful, very much so. And yet, it is also purposeful.  Transitions happen frequently. The only constant, it's been said, is CHANGE - and some of us have more difficulty with it. Including me.  For me, it's kind of like when a baby bird has been in the nest, a source of care, food, and comfort, growing the whole time, growing bigger, growing feathers, and all of a sudden, it comes time to leave that nest and embrace the skies.  Scary!  And yet ... it is exhilarating. The first realization that the air is holding up the bird's body, buoying up under its wings, must be a source of incredible joy. And yet, it is different - and carries responsibility for self-care, depending on it...

Grief is a topic not many people want to talk about, but it is a fact of life that we need to address. Grief comes about by means of a loss - whether a loss of a person in our lives, a cherished dream, a job, a relationship, or a part of ourselves. It can even be a loss of something we never had.  Many of us have heard of the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and we mistakenly think that these are stages that proceed in an orderly fashion, like items on a "to-do" list. However, it doesn't work that way. These are common components that can occur in our grief, but can be experienced more like a whack-a-mole game, popping up seemingly at random, and sometimes we can experience two or more of those states at the same time.  The common belief is that we "get over" grief. We don't. But it changes. Free image from Pixabay.com I like to compare it to being out in the ocean during a storm. The waves are so high, so frequent, tha...

When does trauma end?  The short answer is that it doesn't.  More precisely, no matter how short-term or long-term the trauma has been, or is, the brain's response to trauma is the same. It rewires itself to protect the person from further trauma. So, while the incident(s) may be over with, the trauma lives inside of the person and needs to be processed before the brain can heal itself.  I saw this image today of PET (positron emission tomography) scans of a normal brain's function and that of someone who had experienced trauma. It was very telling. The front of the brain is where we do our thinking and make decisions. The temporal lobes (circled in the image) are where we process new information so the front of our brains can decide what to do. The back of our brains is where we have our automatic reactions: fight, flight, freeze, and so forth (it's also called the "lizard brain.")  Trauma interferes with our ability to process new information and to make int...

  During my Masters degree studies, professors stressed over and over again how important it was for every counsellor to HAVE a counsellor.  I took that seriously. Halfway through my program, I ran into an emotional snag and had to go on medication to weather it, and I sought the help of a counsellor who was well-versed in processing traumatic experiences. With her help, I was able to heal from many of my childhood traumas and integrate those experiences and my reactions to them into my everyday life and practice. It took several months, but I saw progress in my personal life and emotions. I kept seeing this counsellor as a touchstone of sorts, a way to keep myself accountable for the gains I had made in therapy. When my counsellor made a decision to explore other challenges, I knew I had to find someone else to talk to, because the experience of being heard was not something I wanted to let lapse. I found such a person through an online counselling service, and I'm still seei...

  I've heard it said that a diamond is still a diamond even if you find it in a pigsty. Well, I can't say that the past week has been a pigsty week, but it's been pretty crappy (the whole family has COVID-19). However, news I've been waiting for has finally arrived: I passed my qualifying exam for the CCTPEI (College of Counselling Therapists of PEI) and the subsequent jurisprudence exam. Then, I received an email from the CCTPEI welcoming me to the College, and so I am a Counselling Therapist! Just like that! These are gates through which I hope never to have to pass again! As long as I keep my membership and education current, I won't have to! And they also mean that I can offer my services to more people and have those services covered by more health insurance companies. Implied in the title of Counselling Therapist is the word "registered" - which means automatic recognition by the provincial (and in some cases, federal) government as a provider of cou...